Activities and Recreation Programs

I'm sitting in a hotel Piano Bar that's very far away,

and there's a virtuoso at the keyboard, playing music from my day. 

The sound's a bit sorrowful, a love song from someone's past,

It reminds me of younger days, and the memory seems to last.

There is only me and someone else, she's sitting at the bar.

It could be she's the singer or perhaps a movie star.

She looks my way with a smile that lights up her lovely face. 

We lift our glass and nod a bit but stay, sitting in our place. 

The piano player changes the mood with another bluesy tune.

And now she walks high heels and all, across the empty room. 

Leaning gently on the grand her voice picks up a note.

A lilting sounds comes whispering forth, from her long and slender throat.

A song called The Look of Love has me rooted in my seat. 

She brushed against the virtuoso, but he never missed a beat.

She sat down on the piano seat as he played a tinkling sound.

It came across like gentle rain on a roof top all around. 

Wow, I've heard this sound before and the memories are rushing back.

Of rain on a cottage roof when it was night and the sky was very black.

We had so much fun back then when the kids first learned to swim. 

The thoughts are bringing tears to my eyes they're almost to the brim.

This must be a practice before the evening's nightly show.

So, I'll listen to one more song and then I'll have to go.

It's a hit called Just the Way You Are. And the words are really great.

It reminded me of my courting days before my love became my mate.

The afternoon was wonderful, and the music keeps swirling in my brain.

And the lyrics had such meaning as they bring memories back again. 
I'm going to head up to my room and try to make a call. 
Because I miss my family, but you dear most of all. 

While smaller birds hide in the trees and call,

The heron looks out to the lake.

The water sparkles in the sunlight,

The waves appear as diamonds,

While the heron looks out to the lake. 

In a bed in another place,

Lies a man,

Loved by so many,

And still, the heron looks out to the lake.

The lake, the river, water turned to snow,

All favourites,

A lifetime ago.

Still the heron looks out to the lake.

As the minutes pass,

The statue moves, just barely,

And then,

The heron takes one last look,

Before heading to the sky.

Like a soft downy feather, its touch barely felt

Or a delicate snowflake, just as it melts

The image of my sister suddenly appears

Her sighs of joy and delight once again I do hear

As the music she loves plays on and on

She begins to conduct with her phantom baton

With lively sweeps of her hands and arms

She brings in the violins, bassoons and French horns

Then, I myself, overwhelmed by her delight

Raise my arms to assist her with all of my might

The day with my sister will evermore shine

Although she's been gone now quite a long time

The music we loved will forever play on

Once again we may lift our phantom batons.

Today is hair appointment day. And I get an extra piece of toast and honey because of it. I'm going to need my energy. I strategically made the appointment for one in the afternoon because these days my day starts slowly. Depending on how I sleep during the night, I get up at various times. It doesn't matter if I get up at eight or nine or eleven -although I prefer to be out of bed when my caregiver comes, preferences don't always work out. This morning, my caregiver isn't coming, so it doesn't matter when I get up. except of course, I have my hair appointment. I have to make a move, shake a leg as they say, not as easy to do these days. 

I shower and wipe down the shower glass, that takes effort, I get dressed, that takes effort, I put on the kettle for my tea and find bread to pop in the toaster, it all takes effort. Because I have to use a walker I do things in stages, which takes time, but I have time. I do miss having my tea in a mug. But I can't carry a mug and use the walker at the same time, so I have to use a travel mug. I turn on the T.V. for company. David has been gone for nine years now. He was such a morning person, so happy and loud in the morning, just what I didn't want, but I'd give anything for that now. I look at his photo. "Good morning, David, here goes another one!" And offer him a thumbs up.

Bit by bit I carry my breakfast over to my favourite chair. I eat my breakfast. I like eating, it doesn't hurt, doesn't take effort; especially when I don't have to prepare the food. My daughter-in-law fills my fridge and freezer with easy to prepare meals. I used to love to bake and cook, but with my shoulder, I can barely spread the honey on my toast. How things change.The minutes are ticking by, it's already half past eleven, I'd better get going. Off to the bathroom my walker and I "race".

At nearly noon I'm ready, my shoes are slipped on, my coat is fastened, I have my bag, keys and phone. I use the elevator of course to get downstairs and then the one foot after another to the hair salon. I'll get there in time for my appointment, it's just around the corner, past the cafe where I will have my lunch and tea in a mug. Sounds so simple, but with a heart like mine that's barely pumping and two gimpy hips, the pace is slow and painful.

The girl at the reception desk sees me coming and holds the door open for me, such a sweet girl. "Thank you," I say with the little breath I have left. "I'll go and sit." I smile and hope it doesn't look like a grimace. I get my haircut every six weeks, just because I'm not so young anymore doesn't mean I have to give up on pleasures like a good haircut, nice clothes, a dab of lipstick, it just makes me feel better. It's important that I don't let myself go.

I have a lovely conversation with my hairdresser, she's a young mum, I tell her all about my children when they were young, she seems interested in all my stories. I fill the entire appointment with my stories. I'm given a hot cup of tea, a cup, not a travel mug, such a treat! And then I'm all done. "You're all ready for a night on the town!" she says. She always says that. As if! But there was a time; I could tell many stories. My children love hearing my stories, but they seem to forget the details, so I feel obliged to tell them again and again. I don't mind. After lunch at the cafe, I make my way home. I smile and say "hello" to everyone as I pass by. It's important to be polite.

After the tiring day, I settle into my favourite chair, with the T.V. on for company. I let myself remember, I like remembering, and I think to myself that if I could go back in time, what would I wish I had known when I was twenty? I think on it.

Perhaps I would tell myself to enjoy the small moments. The long walks, the busyness of a day, the cuddles and conversations. The birthday cakes, preparing meals, carrying things, being useful, the laughter, togetherness, building a home, gardening, bending, tying shoe laces, and most certainly, carrying a hot mug of tea to a favourite chair.

It would have been nice to know that the little things I took for granted were some of the things I would miss the most, having lots of energy, touching my toes, getting in and out of a bath, running, moving....

I might have wanted to know that I was more capable than I gave myself credit for. I was always so hard on myself.

It would also have been nice to know that I would have such a wonderful life, a full life, that I lived a life, am living a life that I am proud of and what, is more awesome than that?

At 76, I moved from India where I saw have lived through wars and weddings, heartbreaks and homecomings, triumphs and quietnesses. I see the world change in ways I never imagined for the better, some not so much. And through it all, I have gathered a few truths I wish I would have had known when I was 20. If I could sit across from my younger self, I would offer him a four pieces of advice – R.A.C.E – which stands for Relationships, Adapt, Cheerful , and Exercise.

1. Relationships Are Worth the Effort

I have found that friendships, work and family ties—they all require work. I used to think that good relationships just “happened,” and were based on family life that if it was meant to be, it would be easy. But that’s not true. Every meaningful relationship I have had required patience, communication, and compromise. Beyond relations, I wish I had known that conflict is not a sign of failure of these relations. It is an opportunity to understand each other better. I wish I had apologized sooner, listened more deeply, and expressed gratitude more often. Relationships are the fabric of a good life. To build the relations, I sometimes used strength, I equated strength with toughness—with being stoic, assertive, unyielding. But over the years, I have come to see that real strength lies in kindness. Being kind to people made me easy to work with others.

Kindness does not mean being a pushover. In one of my experiences, I vividly remember that in high school, I spent my weekends / Saturday thru volunteering at the local library, helping seniors navigate the card catalog to find books they loved. One gentleman wanted to learn about astronomy, so I spent hours reading with him and sketching constellations by hand. We built a scrapbook of stars together, using clippings from magazines and library prints. He called it his “window to the universe.” That summer, I learned that kindness does not need technology—just time, patience, and heart. I wish I had practiced more kindness when I was younger.

2. Adapt - Failure Is a Teacher, Not a Threat

I was terrified of failing when I was young. I thought every mistake would define me, every misstep would be a permanent stain. So I played it safe. I did not start the business I dreamed of because I feared what people would say if it did not work. What I have learned is that failure is not the opposite of success—it’s part of it. I wish I had known that the people who succeed are not the ones who avoid failure—they are the ones who keep going despite it.

I want to share the story I read later and should have learned more about these. In the early 1950s, Verghese Kurien was a young engineer sent to a small town in Gujarat to manage a dairy plant. He had no interest in dairy—but saw how local farmers were exploited by middlemen.

Despite setbacks, he stayed, learned the trade, and helped build a farmer-owned cooperative. People doubted him, and early efforts failed. But he kept going—and eventually launched Amul. This sparked India’s White Revolution and making the country self-sufficient in milk.

I will tell my younger self that success did not come from avoiding failure—it came from showing up, listening deeply, and refusing to quit when it mattered most.

3. Cheerful - Do not Postpone Joy

I spent too much time waiting for the “right moment” to enjoy life. I thought I had travel once I retired and then relax once the work was done. But life does not always go according to plan and circumstances change. I have now realized that joy is not something you earn—it’s something you choose. I need to find it in the small things --- a good meal, a sunset, listening to music, spending time with family and a conversation with a friend. I now realized why my parents were more happy than I was. When my parents first moved to a new town, they had little money but plenty of heart. Every evening, they’d sit on the balcony with chai, watching the sunset and sharing stories from their day. They found joy in simple things. Even when life was uncertain, they chose happiness in the moment. Thus, I would share the same to my younger self. Enjoy as you grow.

4. Exercise - Health Is Wealth

When you’re young, your body feels invincible. You can eat junk, skip sleep, and bounce back from anything. I wish I had taken better care of myself—eaten more vegetables and exercised regularly. I spent too many years chasing things that did not matter in the long run. I wish I had spent more time playing with others. These moments will become your most cherished memories. And will make you healthy.

In summary, I would say this to me at 20 -- Live with intention, love with abandon, and do not be afraid to fall. And while I ca not go back and change my past, I can share what I have learned in hopes that someone else might walk their path with a little more courage, a little more grace, and a lot more joy…. And if you’re 20 and reading this—know that you’re doing just fine. Keep going. The best is yet to come.

The young lady was just twenty years old. She was on her honeymoon in Hawaii. It was paradise but her life felt like hell. They were ready to check out and she had argued with her husband because the kitchen island was full of empty beer cans. Too many to count. Her husband thought it was quite acceptable to drink this much beer. He was on vacation after all. She had her hands over her face and was crying uncontrollably. "What have I done?" she thought. She was full of energy and wanted to explore and do as much as she could in Hawaii. He tried to keep up but preferred to stay in and drink in the evenings. She had the most beautiful wedding. Friends and family were all present and happy for her. She didn't get married to get divorced. No one does.

I heard crying in the hotel room. I was worried and thought I should help. “Maid service," I said. I waited a few seconds. Surprisingly, she opened the door. Our eyes met and she quickly looked away. I could sense her embarrassment. She was beautiful with dark chestnut hair and skin kissed by the sun into a shade of gorgeous bronze. “Come in," she said. “Thank you," I replied. “I’m sorry you have to collect all these empties," she said. "No worries," I said, "I'll make some money on the returns." "Honeymoon, right?" I said. "Yes, and I am not certain he is a good match for me," she said. “Got any advice?" she asked. She was so still and attentive, ready to take in the advice I was about to give her.

"Ahh" I said to her. "Seek advice from within yourself. Don't ignore your feelings. They are trying to tell you something. Love yourself enough to take the time to understand what you want and speak your truth. When you do this, life will start to unfold and you will be able to see you path clearly." I replied. "Love yourself enough to speak your truth," she repeated. "I like that. Thank you," she said. "It sounds like you have first hand experience with what l am going through."

"Yes," I replied, "Just think of this as a gift. A gift I wish someone would have told me when I was 20." There was a moment of silence and I broke it. "I'll go get some garbage bags for the beer cans," I said. "Wait," she said as she walked over to me. "Thanks again," she said as she touched my arm. "No problem," I replied. I turned to leave and I realized that she was close enough to see the strawberry birthmark at the back of my neck; the exact same birthmark she has at the back of her neck. As I stepped through the door, I heard her gasp.